River flow

 Lying belly-down in the clear shallow water, tiny fish nibble softly at my hands and feet.

A small bright blue flying creature flicks herself again and again into a backbend, brushing her long jewel like body between iridescent wings.

Pond-skaters collide excitedly on surface tension, forming curious constellated circle shadow patterns on the rocky stream bed.

In no hurry 

Listening, watching, feeling, floating

I experienced my place in the ecosystem

Resting openly

Listening inwardly and outwardly

Letting myself belong.  

I realised after a few days a slight background fear of the edges of the stream.  Staying away and yet my gaze drawn there again and again.   A sense of something lurking.  So I bob over to get close to those shadowy, cobwebby, murky sides.  A bit slimy looking with ominous holes and dark crevices.

In the darkness, hordes of spidery pond-skaters clamber over one another hungry for a dead fly.  Tangled roots festooned with streaming green slime hang messily into the depths.  It seems a world away from the clear sparkly flow of water bejewelled with silvery fish, where I lay smiling.

We can feel a clean and clear flow through our middle, pulling us into alignment with the source of life.  Our willingness to be here.  It feels so good. 

Sometimes in our life there arrive moments of transition, from one mode of being to another.  Staying as much as possible in a clear flow, aligned to what we love and with company of good people - not avoiding the shadows but not getting stuck in the mud - can really help.  

The last day of the retreat was a moment of initiation for me.  Transitioning out of marriage and into a new phase of being legally single - 'Decree Absolute!' - I found support in the deep silence of the retreat, and imagining loving hands of my ancestors on my back as I wondered about my name.

I roll slowly onto my back and gaze at the sky, feeling the water holding me from behind.  A blue-winged creature rests on the island of my hand, eyeing me curiously.  Pond-skaters nudge into my belly.  I let my skull fall slowly back into water’s embrace as fish nibble my bottom.  Enjoying the rhythm of body emerging and submerging which accompanies breathing.  Effortlessly my head, upper torso and feet rise up out of the water and I find myself in Navasana, the boat pose.  I marvel at the ease and naturalness of being in this pose actually in the water.  The thought crosses my mind, was this pose meant to be done in shallow water?

I see if I can leave the water without a splash or a sound.  So slowly.  Drawing myself onto smooth water worn rocks the bones fall into a curious jigsaw with the stony undulations of the bank.  I lie heavily in this strangely natural shape as porous grey stone absorbs water from skin, and skin drinks in sun.